Pug Mom in da houuuuuuuuuuuuuse!

I guess it's like having a baby ... he's taking up all my time, the little bugger! More soon!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OMG - OMG - OMG!!!

Picking up puppy Finley tomorrow afternoon! 

That's all I can come up with right now ... so excited! 

Today dragged on forever, 

but now it's almost time for the little bugger to come home to me!

YAY!
FINLEY!

Finley At 7 Weeks

Looking forward to taking my little sweetheart home this Thursday!

Coming Home Soon

Finley is about to join me and my busy life. In a week from today, he'll already be sitting beside me with those big brown eyes ... probably ready to tear into the Christmas tree.

I went to visit him last Sunday again. He was 7 weeks old that day and seems to be doing very well. Personally, I feel he's the cutest one of his brothers, hands down! He's also the most energetic and the one with the most confidence. He was running around, playing, investigating, sniffing, biting, barking and being a silly goose ... I love him. BUT, I'm scared too ... Not that I didn't know it was going to be a big responsibility, and sheesh, Sparky took a lot of effort too ... but there's always that little voice in the back of my head that wonders whether I'll be a good mom...

Anyhoo, I got some new pictures to show and yes, I am celebrating Christmas this year with a tree and gifts and everything that goes along with it ... Finley's very first Christmas will be an exciting one. Being a pug-mom makes me happy.

Finley at 7 weeks

Happy Puppy

Goin' Places

Thinking

Finley's Christmas Tree + Gifts

And lastly, I got a giggle out of calling my old vet today and scheduling Finley's first Puppy Wellness Exam for December 29, 2010 .... I'm such a proud momma!

Picturrrrrrrrrrrrrrrres!

Okay, so I think I went a tad overboard with the amount of pictures I took, so I'm posting the cutest ones here. Uh-oh, I feel another obsession coming on. Heh. When Sparky was around, I was an avid photographer. I was one of those ladies who would constantly update her online photo albums and carry pics in her purse... Well, it looks like my obsession wasn't restricted to just Sparks... Finley, you better be in the mood for this. Heh.

Finley's tail is in overdrive - nearing take-off.

Lil' sis with siblings

Finley on the bottom, brother on top.

Show dog boy

Puppies snoozing after play

Finley getting his zzzzzzs on.

More snoozing...

Taking a bite out of the new mommy

So far my fave pic of my boy!

Ooooh, I can't wait to pick this little bugger up and take him home. He's so full of personality and his little tail never stands still. I love him!

Finley at 5 weeks

More Puppy Pics

The breeder sent me the photos of the 3 boys today, and I'm thinking I've come to a decision. One of the boys will likely become a show dog, so they are keeping him. That leaves me with 2 to choose from. Both of them gorgeous of course. Here we go:

I'm thinking I like the constipated looking one on the left. 

Even though, Crazy Eyes is cute too.

 Here's the show-boy. Fat little ham.

Ham, Finley and Crazy Eyes.

 Finley, Crazy Eyes and Ham (looking rather relaxed)

 Finni and Hammie.

 And one last one of Crazy Eyes.

 

Well, I'll be cruising down to LA on Saturday for some more photos and my first one-on-one with the puppies. The breeder said, they don't really have personalities yet, so we are not sure whether I get to pick one yet. Though I am pretty sure I found him ... 

HAPPY TURKEY DAY EVERYONE!!!

Microchipping

For the last 4 weeks I've been pretty convinced that I would microchip little Finley to make sure he won't get lost, and if he did, I could always find him again. Not that I would ever let him out of my sight, but freak accidents happen and I wanted to be prepared. Coincidentally, I came across an article today that mentioned microchipping and a connection with cancer. That just really upset me and I'm pretty sure the micro-chipping ship has sailed for me. Of course, we're not talking huge numbers of cancer cases related to microchips, but there are some, and that's plenty to make me NOT want to go through with it.... Just a thought.

In other news, the appointment with the breeder got canceled because of heavy rain in LA and the surrounding areas. However, she's sending  a few new puppy pics later today. She said they are the prettiest little boys she's seen in a loooong time, all of them being plump little puppies with cute little faces and a funny disposition. Ooooh, the excitement! I'm going to head down to LA on Saturday instead; Saturday also being the day that I get to finally pick out Finley from amongst his brothers.

Other than that, I'm close to being done with preparations. I still have to puppy-proof the office and install the puppy gate/play area, but my home is made safe. I need another dog bed for the office and some blankets and bowls, and maybe a puppy pad or two(-hundred) ... but besides that, I'm ready to go.  Hands down, this has been the longest 8 weeks of my life. Exciting. BUT LONG.

A photo of the last litter of the same pug parents:

Coming Attractions

I'm meeting the puppies this Sunday! YAY! And hopefully, I'll figure out which one is going to be my little Finley. He's going to be 4 weeks old this Sunday and in another 4 weeks he'll be all mine. Of course I made a few purchases ... Actually, this is only 1/10 of what I bought ... Oh boy.

Well, it was this stuffed Lobster or the Lobster costume ... 

I chose the puppy-friendly gift.

 Little Chilly-Bone, some stuffed toys, 

...and of course a  little elf hat for at least one  Christmas pic

 My Parents are happily buying for their grand-dog as well

This one I HAD TO HAVE! It's the cutest little strawberry house for puppies. 

Pretty sure his masculinity will survive the strawberry era ... heh.

Finley at 4 ...

... 4 days that is!

 

 

So here they are, the first pics of little Finley. The pictures are already a couple of weeks old now and you can't see much of their faces, however, I think they are all the cutest little fuzzies I've ever seen. Looks like it will be 2 silver-fawns and one apricot. I havent seen them in person yet, but I'm planning on driving down to LA to meet them next weekend. I'm hoping that little Finley will make himself known and pick me. But then, I tend to like the 'underdogs' so I will probably pick the one that seems the shyest of the bunch (probably because I fear that he might get his feelings hurt if I don't, lol). 

I'm incredibly excited. This is such a new experience for me. I've made a gazillion purchases, from tons of little toys and harnesses, to a strawberry dog house and a big fluffy beanbag dog bed (which is so big, that he'll probably need a step ladder to get on it).  Jeez Louise! 

I'm also going to enroll little Finley in Puppy Socialization Classes once he's got his shots. And then there is Puppy Training on Saturdays for all the bad behavior I'll let slide during the week ... lol. Well, looks like we'll be a busy little household again. December 19th will be here in no time. I'm just incredibly grateful to bring him home right in time for Christmas. Sparky loved Christmas and this little fella will hopefully too.

Expecting

It's been a while since my last post, but I am happy to announce that I will be mom to a furry child again. It's been something I have been contemplating for over a year but the time never seemed right. Now it is. Nearly perfect :) However, I feel like I have to disappoint my rescue-friends out there. I got Sparky by literally 'stealing' him from an abusive owner who had him locked up in his auto shop for an entire weekend without food or water. I knew the guy because I had done work for him. I also knew that he was neglecting Sparky in the worst way and beating him. Through Sparky I became a rescue mom and I was proud of it. I never regretted having him  and I ended up spending 7+ years with him until he passed at 15. The only thing I always wished for was a chance to have gotten him sooner. I missed the puppy years and I missed his adolescent years and all those other wonderful memories we could have built together ... But then, there was a reason that I got him when I got him, and it was certainly a time he needed me most. Part of this long ramble is trying to explain why I made the choice of getting a puppy now. I feel guilty for it, but after Sparky's passing, I just needed to go this route for once. I have this need of experiencing puppyhood and maybe it's because my heart broke in so many pieces when Sparky left, that I feel a puppy will give me those additional years I always longed for.

Eventually, I want to add another rescue in a year, but for now, I will focus on a pup. I decided to go with a fawn pug puppy.  I found a very reliable and trustworthy breeder who engages in lots of socialization and family interaction during the early puppy days/weeks. "Finley" was born October 24th and I'm hoping to take him home December 19th. I'm incredibly excited and I know the time is right and I'm more than ready. The firm I work for lets me take him to work everyday, so we will never be apart. Oh I wish Sparky could have seen this...he would have loved being part of this.

Hugs everyone!

Uh-Oh!

I can't believe I let this blog go on without a post as long as I did. There's been good news in my life, so I will blame those news for my slacker attitude.

Yep, I got a job. I found the perfect lawyer job in the perfect law firm. It was actually one of the firms very high up on my list of desired positions. The firm is extremely dog friendly (I may have mentioned it in this blog before). I interviewed 3 times, the third time I was offered a position as new associate. There are three in-house "Canine Associates" who make a regular appearance at the office. We've got a Wheaten Terrier, a Golden/Corgi Mix and my absolute fave (ever reminding me of Sparks), Izzy the Golden Retriever. I shamefully admit I am playing favorites ... But I think that's solely because Izzy smells a bit like Sparky and his feet have the same texture and Eau de Dawg as Sparky's did ... I'm in love! Izzy is making me reconsider my choice of picking a pug next ... Suddenly I feel the need to stay true to my Big Dog Love and find another lost soul like Sparky was when he first entered my life.

Speaking of the boy ... I purposefully did not report on his anniversary. I had a hard enough time making it through the last week before his "anniversary" and when the day came, I was glad it was over. Part of me was glad I had just started my new job and was on my second day. August 24th will forever be a sad day in my life. However, I am also ready to get past it all and start fresh. My new job allows me to bring my pup (whoever he will be) to work. I can't wait. I have been looking here and there, but now with Izzy in my professional life, I feel strongly about adopting again .... I also got a brand-new car ... I made the decision to sell Sparky's truck, which was a big step and was difficult to do, but in the end, this'll help me move on. Of course I kept all the little blankets and pillows that were his and had been floating around in that car for the last 10 years. Naturally, the new car was purchased with my future pup in mind: big trunk (for plenty of toys), easy to wash interior (for all those muddy mornings or beach days), low to the ground (should I get another older pup), and black ... I love black!

New life, I'm ready! I'm looking forward to picking out my next boy ... I'm convinced that somehow Sparky will guide me through it and plop the right pup in front of my face when the time is perfect.

Lotsa luv Puppyface, miss you Pooper!

PS: Anyone who loves/loved a dog should read "A Dog's Purpose". Such a feel good book with lots of laughter and some tears ... Go read it - I highly recommend it. :)

Good News ...

... I can't go into it right now, but it looks like Steve got some great news today! Yay! There may have been a mix-up/misunderstanding in his case ... so hang tight. But for right now, Steve's not going anywhere. He still has the disease, but probably not to the extent that we thought he did ... YAY.

One Year Ago ...

I don't like opening my posts with bad news. I don't like sounding like a whiner all the time, but I assume, those of you who come here to read it, understand it and don't mind it.

One year ago to the day my little sweetheart Sparky was diagnosed with cancer. They gave him 2 months. He only made it 34 days. Today, on the same day, my best friend Steve got his bad news. The melanoma has  spread to his lymph nodes. The prognosis is less than 5 years, and that's without knowing the extent of it. He has to see an oncologist, he has to do more tests, and he has to do some sort of body scan in order to find out what exactly is going on. And even then, you can never be sure. My bf, who happens to be a doctor, told me that most of his patients in Steve's shoes have a less than 50/50 chance to make it past 5 years. I am so incredibly heart broken. It's as everything that happened last year is repeating itself. And I'm so scared. I'm horrible in dealing with these things. And I want to be his best friend as always, I just know that there's a chance that my fear of the unknown will let him down ... I can't believe this is happening again. 2 of the most important people in my life -- both affected by the same dreadful disease -- both not deserving of any of it... I just don't get it.

I did something last night I haven't done in a while. I sat down by Sparky's old spot, took a little sniff at the carpet (and yep, it still smell's like Fritos Feet there) and 'talked' to him about life and stuff. I think my subconscious was already preparing me for this day. I've been moping around for nearly 3 days now and for no real reason. So I'll probably sit back down by his spot tonight and talk some more, hoping that maybe 'someone' will listen and that Steve will get another chance ...

Steve and I at my law school graduation. Hugs, big guy!

Good News

Good News, People!

Well, I don't want to get ahead of myself and start acquiring a whole set of new expectations, but I did get an email last Thursday from the "people who hold my future in their hands". They informed me that I met their 'hiring standards' and that I was still in the running for a job that 270 people applied to. I am HAPPY. Honestly, if I get this job, I will be floored ... I almost don't think I will, but hey, knowing that I am not tossed out in the first round is nice to know and gave me a little dash of extra hope.

Well, and then my best buddy Steve has his procedure done this coming Thursday. They are removing quite a bit of his calf. The doctor compared it to a shark-bite procedure. After that, there will be a bunch of testing (and praying) that nothing has spread to lymph nodes or other parts of the body. Steve has always been one of the most optimistic persons I know. I think this trait will be helpful in his recovery process.

Other than that, I went on a little road trip with the BF yesterday and took pics. I saw a bunch of cows grazing on fields and it reminded me of how excited Sparky would get during our little trips. Whenever he saw cows,  he would stand up in his seat and start pacing and whimpering, begging to be let out. He LOOOVVVVEEEEDDDD cows. I knew he would have had a ball. When I finally got home and uploaded my pics, I noticed two pics had a rainbow image on them. At the time I took the pics, there were no rainbows any where ... but part of my likes to believe that whenever there's a rainbow, Sparks is not far behind.

I love you, puppy ... and I miss you.

Revisiting the Past

I knew, eventually the other shoe would drop ... and it sure as heck did today.

I don't even know where to start, but I feel someone burst my bubble today. I have been so convinced that I was on the right path to getting my dream job and then something old, something stupid from my past, snuck up on me and at the moment I feel like it's going to cost me the job. I'm heartbroken. I feel like a major set back has taken place and I have no way to remedy it. All I can do is sit and wait...but I'm pretty sure I sunk my own ship.

And then, just when I thought I was going to semi-survive it, my best friend, Steve, called... And by his phone call, he completely pulled the remaining rug from under my feet. He has cancer. And it's probably real bad. Surgery is next week, but it's not gonna be good news ... not likely. Today hit me like a bus ... Steve's illness brought back these deep emotions and the deep pain I felt when Sparky was diagnosed with cancer. And again, this disease is trying to claim someone who is incredibly important to me, and who is LEAST deserving of all this. And again, part of me feels like "why him?, why not ME?" 

I want to crawl under the covers and stay there for a month. I want to just check out and let life pass me by for a while. The pink cloud I was on for a little while has disappeared and again I feel I'm staring into a big black hole. It's days like these that make me long for those moments when I would get down on the floor with Sparky and bury my face in his fur and tell him about my rotten day and why I was upset. And sure enough, he always made everything better ...

Getting through all the "Firsts"

I've been dealing with a lot of firsts still; firsts that should have been acknowledged much sooner, but I was too busy keeping it together for the bar. As I'm writing this a big knot is building in my throat, and the emptiness I feel when I think about what an amazing friend I lost returns ten-fold. I miss him. I miss him so much still! I celebrated my birthday last Monday, and it wasn't the same. Normally, I would have packed up Sparky and spent the day going to doggy parks and beaches with him. This year I moped. Probably not the best idea, but it was another first without him. And so I've been checking off all the firsts off my list while this his anniversary is approaching and I believe that things will get easier after August 24. I know that the sadness will never really go away, but I'm also so grateful for having been able to get little 'doses' of Sparky in the last 10 months; be it in form of stray hairs that are still landing on my bed when I sit down at night, or be it in form of the faint smell of his feet that still seems to transcend from his favorite spot in front of the TV, even after nearly 10 months. 

Through all the good times lately, in the back of mind, Sparky is ever present and I miss him every day so very much. I'm convinced that without Sparky keeping an eye on me, I probably wouldn't have made it this far in the last 10 months. More amazingly is the fact that I was able to keep it together as much as I did. I look back and I can truly say that 2009 was the most painful year of my life. I'm trying to think back to any other time in my life that could match the heart ache of 2009, but there is none.  Surprisingly, I also feel that during the last few months of 2009, after Sparky passed, I felt the most strength and comfort. I was not comfortable, but I felt that someone was watching out for me. Anyone who knows me, knows that Sparky was the highlight of my existence. There was nothing that was anywhere near as important as my little boy was. I dreaded the day that he would leave me because I knew that I would crumble and fall apart. When Sparky passed on August 24, it was as if he knew that that day was the 'most right' day possible. It is eerie how this day was picked by him. It was the day after my break from Summer classes ended, it was the day that my boss came back from a long vacation, it was the beginning of what would be the end-spurt of my law school career - a time that had me spinning in  my heels because of the insane of amount of work I still had to do before I could take the bar exam. Sparky picked that time. I know that he did. In a sense he saved me with his last selfless act. And I know that the following months he was close by my side, I could always feel him. I always felt guilty, and still do, for not having been able to help him. I would have given anything to save him...

I miss you Sparks.

I PASSED ...

THE CALIFORNIA BAR EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohoo!
Luv y'all ... Miss you my little souldog Sparky, this one was all for you :)

Four Hours To Go ...

This waiting game is maddening and I've reached my limit ... At this point, I will do anything!

Tomorrow = Bar Results

I have done nothing but behaved like a medium-sized basket case these last few days. Why? Well, as the title of this post suggests: BAR RESULTS are coming out tomorrow at 6 pm PDT.

I've been trying to do some fair amount of bargaining in the last few days. Something like: I will never do such-and-such again, if I pass. I will always do this, that, and the other, if I pass ... bla bla bla.

And then of course there's the occasional thought that maybe Sparky-baby has some pull 'up there' and lets them know that I am a pretty decent dog mom, who would like to pass the first time around so that she can adopt a couple more fur babies ....

Yeah, I've done nothing but think about these things, eat a bunch of junk, let out the occasional (okay, more than occasional) whine ... and pray. Previously I mentioned that there was a 50% pass rate, but that was a mistake. That's the pass rate for the Summer Bar ... the Winter Bar (the one I took) has a pass rate of 33% ... 'nuff said ... I'd appreciate any finger crossing on my behalf, and if your furbabies could join with a couple of toes, that would be greatly appreciated as well.

I'm gonna return to my semi-paranoid state, continue eating junk, and hopefully will have some decent news tomorrow evening ... Stay tuned.

Graduation

Yesterday was the big day - Official Law School Graduation. It was a wonderfully amazing day. For some reason, it never really dawned on me what I had accomplished. It took the dean of the school and a judge to tell me to take a step back and reflect. What a proud moment. During the ceremony, my mind wandered over to my little faithful friend, my little souldog who left me nearly 9 months ago. I wish we could have celebrated this day together, after all, I always told him it was all for him, so that I could send him to a better school and buy him nice things ;) Yes, I missed him last night...

But regardless, it was an wonderful day, something I won't forget for a long time to come, if ever. Pretty sure that my boy is proudly watching me from the 'other side' and wishing me a happy Mothers Day ...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO EVERYONE! May your furbabies bring you a bunch of joy today!

How to Obtain A Cookie ... according to Sparky

How to Obtain A Cookie

Step 1. Look famished!

Step 2. If famished doesn't work - look cute.

Step 3. Let the waterworks run free, i.e. drool excessively.

Step 4. Carefully take a cookie.

Step 5. Look confused. Pretend you didn't get one.

Step 6. Repeat Step 1 through 5 again.

It always works!

Changes are on the Way

Well, I'm back in town. Made it in one piece and had a blast while being gone. However, it is always nice to come back home. A couple of times I accidentally thought I would come home to Sparky, but then in a sense I did come home to him. My first step was to sit next to his spot and and bury my nose in the carpet to check whether I could still smell his feet. I could. Whenever I do that, I get bombarded by little flashbacks. I can't really describe it, but for a few split seconds, it feels like as if he is still beside me. I love that. But I don't do it very often, because I'm worried that the feeling will go away.

So my headline spoke of changes. There will be a few this year. First, my official law school graduation is this weekend. Yep, even though I already finished 6 months ago and even took the bar exam 9 weeks ago, I still have to attend my official graduation. I've never been to an American graduation. For some reason I always avoided them so far. But I thought this one was important. If not for the fact that Sparky and I had worked so hard for this.

And then next Friday is the big day. I will get my exam results at 6 pm, online, at the State Bar of CA website. Scary! I have tried to envision that day and it always ends in me getting nauseous and sick to my stomach... I'm not even kidding. I feel like my whole life is riding on this, which is probably not a good idea and way too much pressure. Yes, I am not looking forward to Friday, the 14th.

Either way, there will be a lot of changes. If I do pass, I will go and find a 'real' job, and eventually a bigger home and a needy furchild (in the form of a pug - I've made my decision). I'm excited about adding a little couch potato to my life. And finally, I do not feel as guilty anymore, or that I am cheating on Sparky. I felt like that for a long time.  Speaking of not feeling guilty: I actually managed to enjoy a day at the beach yesterday without the overwhelming feeling of grief. The beach was Sparky's favorite spot, and it nearly took me  7 months to even come near it. Yesterday I took my puppysitting gig to the beach and I had a wonderful time with a black lab girl. I'm glad that things have changed a little bit. On top of this: The other day I took a long walk through the neighborhood and I felt as if Sparky was with me whenever I hit one of our old spots ... it just felt nice. Sure, in the end I always mope, but maybe not as much as I used to  a few months ago.

In the event that I don't pass the bar on the first try, there will be unwanted change in the form of another 2 months of heavy-duty studying. This, I'd rather not talk about....

Well, it's good to be back ... I've decided to make 2010 a better year than 2009.  I will pass the bar, I will get a bigger place, a new car, and a Pug. There, you have it. The deal is sealed.

Good to be back! :)

Sparky 2005 - Moving Day

Germany Pics

My trip to Berlin has been amazing so far, and I've been to places that I haven't been to in 20 years. It's been one flashback after another ... I love it! Here are some pics in lieu of long-winded stories (which might follow later).

                             Berlin - Fernsehturm

                            A "Trabant" - an old East-German car
                           (note the Playboy Bunny on the side, lol)

                        Deutscher Dom   &  Altes Museum

                                      Ingrid - I took this pic for you :)

                            At the "Meyenburger Schloss" in Meyenburg

                                          Again - at the Schloss

               In Plau - an old city, with lots of old homes, north of Berlin

                                           
                                         Old Train Tracks

Sparky would have had such a blast here ... his big nose would have gone crazy with all the foreign smells. Hugs to you, my little angel-pup!