I've been sitting here trying to get back into the swing of things with this blog but it doesn't seem to be easy. First off, I feel bad for having abandoned this place because it gave me so much comfort through some very dark times (Sparky and all). Second, I can't really say that life's been easy lately and I probably should have moved my butt over here and shared about it, since talking about it normally works well. But newp, stubborn German background prevented me from talking about the fact that I feel like I made a ginormous mistake moving out here to the desert. I DO NOT LIKE IT! I've been homesick since I got here. I don't know what I was thinking moving 220 miles southeast of all my friends of the past 20 years... Guh! And I can't really say Finley is liking it much either, understandably. So I've been *visiting* a lot with SB friends in SB. I'm slowly trying to inch my way back there ... hoping to open my own practice there and getting back to normal. I didn't realize how much stuff was going on in my head before I left Santa Barbara, pretty much all attributable to my own sense of unhappiness, and I didn't really realize that I would take my *stuff* with me. Normally, that's the problem with running from things ... you take yourself with you.
Well, another lesson learned. I can't really say I regret moving here, as it has opened my eyes and taught me a bunch, but I'd rather be back home now, where my friends are and where I have a sense of belonging. Here, I just feel out of place and awkward and my heart's not in it to give it a better shot ...
However, even though I may not be the happiest here, lil Finster has flourished and grown into an 11 month old, 17 pound bundle ofterror, eh joy. He's got so much personality and wit, he charms everyone wherever he goes and generally is the center of attention. See below:
Thanks for stickin' with me my little eFriends ... I really, really appreciate your support and friendship.
Well, another lesson learned. I can't really say I regret moving here, as it has opened my eyes and taught me a bunch, but I'd rather be back home now, where my friends are and where I have a sense of belonging. Here, I just feel out of place and awkward and my heart's not in it to give it a better shot ...
However, even though I may not be the happiest here, lil Finster has flourished and grown into an 11 month old, 17 pound bundle of
Thanks for stickin' with me my little eFriends ... I really, really appreciate your support and friendship.
ok FIRST of all: those are laugh out loud photos!!! What a happy & content little man!! I'm very happy for both of you on that front.
ReplyDeleteAs for the move - you were in a cloud. I know, because I lived in the same cloud. The death of Indiana threw me into a state of almost semi-conscienceless. No, I didn't move far away, but I did move. And I also messed up big time and missed all of the signs my new puppy was trying to give me regarding her feelings towards cats. (and you know how that went down)
Try to to beat yourself up too much, All things considered I think we all did pretty well with the loss of our loves. We all managed to push past the horror and move on to save new dogs and give great lives to new companions.
Even if you move back, your dessert time will always be you and Finny time. So no matter how much you may think it's a bad decision, it'll always be special. Just like I love/hate all the crappy apartments I ever lived in with Indiana!
Great to have you back!!
cheers!
Hello again e-friend!
ReplyDeleteDitto all that Ingrid says. The pictures of Fin on the glass table are hilarious and his personality shines right out of his photos. He really weighs 17lbs? Someone is living the good life in Palm Springs.
Hey, I believe that nothing in life is forever. Once I embraced that it made everything so much easier to deal with. Sta.Barbara is a tough act to follow. I lived there for 7 years and still miss it and if ever I move back to California that is where I would go.
I think all experiences and especially 'mistakes' just add to the colour of our lives in the long run. You gave it a try and it wasn't a fit. Time for you and your faithful companion to git outta Dodge!
Glad you are back! xo