From Bad to Worse

Things are steadily going downhill at the moment. I'm frustrated and scared, and there's nothing I can do. Sparky was up half the night, just standing there, panting. I am not sure if he was in pain, but he didn't look comfortable.

Today in the morning he was ready to go out, but had definite trouble getting in to the standing position. I had to help. While outside trying to do his business, he got so weak that he sat down ... That has NEVER happened before. He clearly had a hard time standing and walking and his hind legs were dragging on the asphalt when he walked. It was heartbreaking.

Back at home he only had a moderate appetite, and I think that's the effect of the Neoplasene. He seems a little queasy. Two ago days he broke his dish bowl because he was so excited, and today he turned up his nose at the food he loves so much. He also continues to have diarrhea. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I am exhausted. I want him to be comfortable and not in pain, yet everything I do right now makes his quality of life worse.

I called his holistic vet and his regular vet and left messages. We NEED to talk. This is not working for us, especially not for him. I feel I'm losing him. I feel I have maybe a week left, because if he can't get up to go out, what else is left? I'm stuck. The holistic vet wants me to stop the pain meds, but Sparky needs them for functioning. The Neoplasene makes him queasy, so he doesnt want to eat. Eating is his favorite activity ... and he doesn't want to?????

I have to think about making this as comfortable as possible for him. I'm devastated that nothing is working right now, but I don't want to keep him in pain. He's back on the pain meds, and I will stop the Neoplasene and only give him chicken, rice and cottage cheese until we get the diarrhea and the upset tummy under control.

I look at him and every time my heart breaks. I don't know what the right thing is? I don't know whether acupuncture will make a difference. But I do know, that right now, he's suffering....