Things continue to get better. Again, he slept all night - no coughing, no panting. When I got home from work, I was greeted by a bouncy ball of fur. Also, the cough stopped when he's lying on his side, which is wonderful, because I know how much he loves to plop sideways and snooze. He hasn't been able to do that for 3 days now because of that nasty cough caused by the tumor that's pressing on his windpipe. I am grateful beyond belief. But I'm also a little worried that the other shoe will drop sometime soon ... I know, it's my paranoia creeping through again. I keep thinking ahead to what will happen, and how I am not sure I can live without his companionship. There's so much love I have for him. Every day revolves around him and coming home and being grounded by him and his love and loyalty. I'm scared. How do you fill a void like that? A good friend keeps reminding me to stay in the moment and not think ahead, but every-so-often I do think about his diagnosis, and I know this is gonna shatter my heart...
You've just written, in this post, EXACTLY how I feel. I've also got a fiance...Joe is his first pet in his life, and he's absolutely devastated at the thought of Joe leaving us. So hard but, I'd take this ache, any day, for the unconditional love Joe shows us.
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